BACK IN BUSINESS

The gratitude I feel toward my next door neighbor for allowing me to use their rake yesterday is heartfelt. Those heaping piles of dead presidents laying about the domicile were getting to be a burden to continually circumvent while meandering around my house. (Domicile, Circumvent and Meandering = 50 cent words. Words completely affordable to your saintliness after a 13-4 week last week.) Thus, the use of the rake was most necessary as my cleaning lady and her adorable French maid ensemble (complete with thigh highs) raked the Franklins into neat piles as requested. She also baked me some cupcakes and left me some self taken Polaroids on the counter.

But I digress… to come out firing in February with a 13-4 week after a few months in hibernation was actually slightly disappointing. Saint Dougie aims for perfection, for as Slick Rick once spat, “straight and narrow or your soul gets caste”. Who am I to disagree?

So with a 76.4705 winning percentage last week stuffed humbly into my wallet, stuffed being the operative word, for we do not lay chump change here in the bunker, let’s ride on this fine Tuesday NBA evening. Every dog has its’ day but the hell with that, it’s my year. Indeed, tonight, it is all about the dogs. Underdogs. A 4 pack of ‘em. Bizarro world ensues. Cue the Twilight Zone theme music.

Clip Joint (The Blake Griffins) at a cool +9.5 in Orlando vs. The Magic

Indy Pace Cars getting a healthy +10.5 vs. the Heat

Everyone’s favorite dinosaurs, the Raptors +7 in Milwaukee.

Grizzly Bears copping +6 in OKC

Pittsburgh Steelers (+3, +125) vs Green Bay Packers (-3, -145)

Over / Under: 44.5

All point spreads are from BetUS.com. Open your account today!

I really struggled with this game. I would feel one way then the opposite way on a daily if not hourly basis. I do not like to get too deep into analysis as I believe there is a threshold of too much information, irrelevant information, that is quickly surpassed with all the possible data at our avail. To be honest, the issue I struggled with the most, and I didn’t realize it was affecting me right away, is that I really do not like this Steeler team. I don’t dislike everything about them. For instance, I like Mike Tomlin, I like the way the organization is run overall, I like Troy Polamalu. But thoughts were being tainted by their very easy to dislike QB, the dirtiest player in the league Hines Ward, and self-proclaimed head hunter James Harrison. But the fact that Ben Roethlisberger rapes fat drunk chicks shouldn’t be part of any football analysis. All NFL games are about matchups. Matchups all over the field. And that is what I eventually got down to, and when I did I found a peace in my decision, a comfort in my analysis, and a belief that today will be a big payoff for The Dean and a victorious end to a successful season.

As I looked through the stats that I believe are relevant, a few things jumped out at me. I do like to look at common opponents, but not for wins and losses, but for similarities that one team has with either the Steelers or the Packers, and how that team fared in their game with today’s Super Bowl participants. Some games are worthless. For example, a game early in the year when the Packers were dealing with a ton of injuries is difficult to glean valid data from. Steelers games when they were trying to fill the void created by Roethlisberger’s suspension showed that they know how to pull together, but don’t lend much in the way of the Steeler team taking the field today. What I did note is that the Steelers gave up a good deal of sacks almost every game, and the Packers did a good deal of sacking almost every game.

What else did I see? Well, I saw that the Steelers run defense is top notch, but their pass defense leaves a lot to be desired. I saw that the Packers don’t run the ball well, but have a dynamic passing game. With that one could draw the conclusion that the Packers won’t be able to run the ball tomorrow, that the Steelers are going to take that part of the game away from the Packers. But how do you take away something that someone doesn’t possess? You can’t steal from someone that is broke. The Packers haven’t run the ball, don’t care to run the ball, so what exactly are the Steelers going to take away? On a fast turf, climate control, the Steelers pass defense, the Steelers weak pass defense, is going to be test to the limits. The Packers defense is pretty damn good in their own right. They cover well, the sack the QB, they stuff the run. The Steelers offense seems to find ways to make plays, and they will have to search high and low today to find those plays.

Maurkice Pouncey. One name, one man, one real big problem for the Black and Gold. The center is the second most important position on offense and the Steelers have had a damn good center. Now they have a backup. A backup at center on a team that already struggles to protect the QB. Its not good to lose your center.

There is one game that the Steelers played this year that I believe is a glimpse of what we will see today. The Patriots sauntered into Pittsburgh with a dynamic passing attack similar to that of the Packers. The Patriots hung 39 points on the Steelers. The Packers may do the same. The Dean’s prediction, Packers 31 – Steelers 17. That means give the points and take the over.

My balance going into today is 3,960. I am going to put 1,500 on the Packers -3 and 500 on the Over 44.5.

First of all, I wanna send out a round of lacy white angel wings to all the single ladies out there. Fly high, girls. Fly high and fly proper.

So LeBroad goes out and gets 51 and the Magic get burnt by the Heat and so the Spurs roll into LA and neckbone the Lake Show forcing Saint Dougie into a 1-2 night at the office. Relax, my God fearing populace. No one is stealing my halo. Ain’t happening. Still 7-3 on the week and snacking on lobster spring rolls at Devon’s and washing them down with double Goose, cran and 7-Up tall boys. Ain’t nothing changed but the day of the week it is.

Tonight is Friday and the feeling is awful freaky from the Saint’s headquarters in the bunker on Derry Street. Dr. Gal aka Big Cuz and Drew Rodeo Drive will be weighing in later today with their picks of the night. We will each roll with a 5 game set.

My 5:

In a bizarre twist, I am going to pick the worst game on the board of the bunch. Raptors at home at – 3.5 vs. the T-Wolves. Both teams coming off Wed night losses. Dinosaurs are dynamite at home tonight. Raptors.

Meanwhile, I love the Magic act to bounce back and cover that -5.5 on the road tonight in Washington. Magic pull a rabbit out of their top hat.

The 76ers will run and hide with their -4 vs. the Knicks at home tonight in what should be one of the better crowds in the 215 this season at the Wells Fargo Center. Sixers turner corner continues.

I like that big ol’ 13 that the poor, poor Cavs are getting at Memphis tonight. Cavs cover. Mind you, they don’t win. But they do cover that one tonight.

Lastly, I like the Thunderous Durantulas. You down with OKC at -2 on the road in Phoenix? Saint Dougie is. OKC is the call.

Stay saintly.

He is tough to locate with his globe-trotting, high life style but The Dean was able to find St. Dougie for just long enough today to get his action on tonight’s NBA Games.

Here is where his Saintliness is laying his cash tonight.

Miami (+2.5) at Orlando. Riding with the Magic in this one at -2.5.

Spurs (+3) at LA Lakers. Riding Lakers in this one at -3.

Bucks (+7) at Golden State. Riding with Bucks at +7

Keep the fan requests coming and St. Dougie is more likely to be seen more often. Send your love, and he will send it back 10-fold.